God's blessing

Saturday, we received a wonderful blessing in that one of our creditors that wasn't acknowledging our payments suddenly wants to work with us and accept the $50 a month that we have been paying them. This doesn't seem like much to most people, but to us it was a wonderful blessing. A showing of God's faithfulness because this creditor was in the process of taking us to court and has chanced their mind. PRAISE GOD!!!!!

God is still in control even when the circumstances want to say otherwise.

The Miracles in the Trials

Do you believe that God can use even the worst of situations to teach us something new? I do.

Today, in our Sunday School Class we talked about the different roles of a husband and a wife. One of the roles is that the husband is the one that takes on the responsibility of taking care of the family, protecting the family, providing for them. This really gripped me because I tend to want to be the protector of everyone; even my husband. God has been talking to me about this subject for a week now. Oh, not quite in the same words, but still... with my husband facing a lawsuit for money that we didn't even know that we owed until a year ago, I wanted to run into that court and be his big defender. God has been dealing with me about Him being Ray's defender and allowing Ray to learn to protect me and his family. I want to be the champion in this fight but God says that the only champion can be Him. I need to trust in, first God, next my husband.

I seem to be talking a lot about John11:40, but God is really trying to instill in me the believing in Him and expecting Him to be glorified. I am also seeing that sometimes the miracles in our lives that are most important are the ones that happen while we are going through the trials. If I just believe, trust in Him and let Him take care of our problem with this collector than God will do something to glorify Himself. I only have to praise Him in the end. In the next two verses Jesus says, " Father, I thank You that You have heard Me, I knew that You always hear Me; but because of the people standing around I said it, so that they may believe that You sent Me." When I read this verse yesterday it hit me that the only way that people will believe in Jesus and know that God sent Him is if we as Christian become vocal witness to Him. If God gives Ray and I a miracle on Tuesday and we don't become vocal about it how will people know Jesus and believe in Him? I just pray that when the time comes that I have the courage to be vocal about God's blessing and miracles on our behalf. If I don't then someone else will, or worse, the rocks and the hills will cry out for me.

Whose Voice Do You Hear?

Today I bought a new book. The name of it is My Heart Cry, by Anne Graham Lotz. I have never read any of her books or even heard her speak. I must say that the only thing that I have known about her until today is that she is the daughter of Billy Graham. What attracted me to the book really and honestly was that it was $1.99. What made me buy it was the subtitle, Longing for more of Jesus.

That is my hearts cry right now, to have more of Jesus. I want to know that He is right here with me at all times, even when I don't feel Him. I want to be able to know His voice whether He is speaking through His Word (The Bible), through another person, or through circumstances in my life. I want to have the passion for Jesus to do whatever He asks even if it is not the popular view or even makes sense to me. Most of all I want Him to be top priority in my life. I have to then ask myself, "If I want this then why is it not so? Who is stopping this from happening?" Me of course.

How many of us can say that we want something so bad that we can taste it and yet we do anything we can to avoid realizing our goal. It happens all the time because we are afraid of the outcome. I know that I want so much to have such an intimate relationship with Christ that it hurt inside and yet I avoid that relationship because I am afraid of the cost that it will require. What will I have to give up in order to have this relationship? Who will think that I am a fanatic? Or who may be offended that I seek Christ over them? The question could go on but the big question is who or what am I afraid to give up more then I am afraid of giving up Christ?

In John 10:27 Jesus say, "My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me." Now how would a sheep now their shepherds voice unless somehow the shepherd has built a relationship with that sheep in someway. With real sheep, they don't have a choice, their shepherd builds that relationship with them and teaches them to know only his voice. With us, we have to be willing to learn Jesus' voice. I need to be willing to set aside time everyday to read His Word and pray and listen. I need to learn to seek out His voice so that when others come claiming that they are acting or speaking in His behalf, I can hear if His voice is really in their words, and if I'm not sure, I need to be willing to turn back to His Word to know for sure.

I know that God speaks personally to us everyday, but am I willing to know His voice more intimately so that I can hear Him when He does speak? That is really what this journey in life is all about isn't it? To long for Jesus, turn to Him, seek Him, and know His voice intimately. Without this, life is aimless and without purpose.

So... I am going to pursue that longing for more of Jesus. I want to know Him intimately even if I offend some, am labeled a fanatic, or have to give up something that I enjoying doing. I pray that everyone that reads this will do the same.

Living Life Intentionally

I must confess that we have had more things get thrown at us from the past these past two weeks then we have had in a long time. Unfortunately, Ray and I struggle the most with our finances and it shows by our past history. I tend to get bogged down in the past and dwell on it (or as my favorite author, Beth Moore, so fondly says. "I'm enjoying my pit").

Several years ago, Ray and I had bought a house in Michigan and had planned on growing old in it. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) for us, Ray's bosses decided that they didn't need several of their employees and laid them off. He happened to be one of the ones that lost their job. Ray spent a whole year trying to find a job and couldn't. Because of these circumstances we lost the house and we moved to Kansas. After we lost the house we thought nothing of it.

Moving forward to today. Ray received a summons to court so that the PMI insurance can collect the money that we "owe" them. To us it doesn't make sense but it is perfectly legal. I went to church today laden with fear, guilt, hurt, and why's. I kept thinking about the past. How our choices in the past have effected us, how we were not being the best stewards of God's resources, and how we can't be effective witness because of this burden from our past.

Do you know that God meets us even when we don't understand? He gives us answers even when we may not want to hear? He is still God even when we forget that? I walked into that meeting tonight thinking that I was not worthy of being a child of God and He walked in and told me to not look at the past but look at the future. God calls us to intentionally "Forget what is behind and strain towards what is ahead, toward the goal". This is part of Philippians 3:12-14 and God, through the Apostle Paul, is telling us the importance of focusing on the goal that He has for us and not on our failures of the past. When we are focused on God's goal then we will intentionally live our lives to pursue that goal. We will make wise choices and we will also trust in Him to take us through the struggles that we are in today. Even the struggles that we have put ourselves in.

One more scripture that goes along with looking into the future. 2 Corinthians 5:17-19 says, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!..." If God sees us as a new creation, that means He is not looking back at our mistakes and sins. He is looking forward to the promise that He has given us in each of our lives. We may not see that promise right now but it is there and He will be faithful to bring it to pass. I am excited that even if I forget and look back, God never looks back and condemns me.

I may not know what the world is holding out for the future of my family, but I can count on the fact that God has a glorious future in store for us. Remember John 11:40? Jesus said, "Did I not say to you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?" Well, I have to believe that God is greater than this problem because I want to see the glory of God. Will the outcome be hard for us to bear? I don't know, but I know that somehow God will receive glory.

We Must Believe

When reading the Bible two days ago I ran across the words of Jesus that say, "Did I not say to you that if you believe, you would see the glory of God?" I stopped at these words because I can honestly say that I have not seen the glory of God but in a very minuet part. I realized that I am not believing the way that Jesus commanded Martha in this scripture passage. She was upset because Jesus had not come sooner to heal her brother but did not believe that Jesus could raise Lazarus from the dead.

Ray and I are going through a very hard struggle (for us) right now and it is hard not to say to Jesus, "If you had just provided sooner, this would not be happening." I think that is why the Holy Spirit had me open my Bible to John 11:40. I am struggling with the same unbelief that Martha was struggling with. Not an unbelief that Jesus can provide but one that says that Jesus can provide up to a certain point. Jesus is stating to us right here in this verse that He is bigger than any problem. Are we willing to turn to him even when we can't pay the bills, get a job, save our kids from the world, or even when we loose someone who is very close to us to cancer or some other untimely death? Are we willing to still say, "God I believe that you can ... I want to see Your glory in my life."

That day I decided to believe that Jesus is even the answer to our very hard struggle and that we are going to see His glory. We are still in the middle of the struggle, but He is there right along side of us. He is the only one who can solve the problem and I believe that with all my heart.

I believe:
God is who He says He is
God can do what He says He can do
I am who God says I am
I can do all things through Christ
God's Word is alive and active in me
(I learned this when I went through Beth Moore's Believing God Bible study which I strongly recommend.)